Saturday, July 4, 2009

weapons

most people don't know what weapons to use when they're attacked by zombies. just a tip: tree branches don't work. don't even bother.
CAMERON'S DICTIONARY OF WEAPONS AND THEIR EFFECT ON ZOMBIES:
oars: oars are good for temporarily fending off the zombies (particularly if you're on a boat, where you can send them soaring into the water), but in the long run, it's about as useful as a tree branch.
knives: knives, to tell you the truth, really aren't much help when it comes to battling zombies. i mean, it's always handy to have a knife in your back pocket (just be careful not to stab yourself when you fall onto your arse) so you can manufacture armour and whatnot. also good for chopping up your best friend and using them as bait, and works wonders for threatening the living. on the dead, however, it's sort of useless.
handguns: guns aren't particularly useful when in combat with walking, grunting, corpses. putting a hole through their head doesn't do much more then make them stumble a bit from the power of the blast. sorry, mate, guns don't work.
fire: fire is a useful tool when fighting zombies. i don't know if you've noticed, but fire burns things until they're reduced to ash. it works with zombies. if you light a zombie on fire, it's as good as dead (most of the time), though it is really intimidating to be chased by a decomposing body with half of his head on fire *shudder*
pointy sticks: what did i say about tree branches?! honestly, a pointy tree branch isn't much better than a not-pointy tree branch.
bombs: bombs, like fire, can be quite useful when attempting to destroy zombies. bombs create an explosion, which normally erupts in a flame-like manner, incinerating everyone within a distance. bombs are good, if you don't mind running as fast as you can, ducking and throwing yourself at the ground, and being rained upon by itsy-bitsy pieces of zombie.
that's all i've got on weapons, but remember: NO BRANCHES

1 comment:

  1. What about hairspray? Or how about an electric cattle prod?
    Hmmm....perhaps running over a zombie with a steamroller might work.
    Love your interesting (albeit very weird) posts, darling!

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